A Family that Ages Together, will Stay together!
As grandparents and parents advance from their 20’s to 90’s, children are growing from birth to retirement, grandchildren and great-grandchildren spirit the continuum. The interactions and relationships between us changes (or ages) in step with time. The roles within the family are established, re-established and passed on. So the family line escapes linear evaluation and takes on a bravura form of ebb-n-flow thought that each generation is a participant.
There is a stage in which we are “dependents”. Dependent upon our elders, our society and our peers. There is a stage in which we remain dependents but begin to shoulder our independence that includes responsibilities and contributions. In this stage we are the “students”. We move on then to the stage that may still play a role as dependents and students but the responsibilities and contributions have a higher level of accountability and dependencies change in nature and start reversing in roles. This is the stage of the “caregivers”. Then there is the stage within our human experience that we become the “seniors” of our society. 55? 67? 85? Yes, Yes, and Yes – depending on the discussion (or discount presented). For this discussion, “seniors” are simply placed after “caregivers” regardless of the age they arrive and characterized within this stage as one in which we hold the knowledge of history, the phases of bodily beauty and challenges, and the mysteries and answers of our psychosomatic capabilities.
Interactions:
While dependents reach out to absorb their environment through touches, breaths, and languages, students are applying their lessons to their environment, discovering themselves and their roles, caregivers become the worker bees and leaders, and seniors adjust to the transition from caregivers and start the journey through seniorhood. A journey that has variant paths and circumstances so therefore is challenged for a short descriptive agenda. Each stage will vary in length of time as individuals vary. Therefore the importance of interaction and value recognition as we voyage through or travel with others is essential of each family member – by each family member. This is true of dependents, students, caregivers and seniors.
All of these stages are happening in corresponding motions, intimately affecting each other’s quality of life and course of aging. Each of us will physically and emotionally step into and advance through each stage – exchanging places with others – assisting and being assisted. Along the way, witnessing the growth of our family members and participating in their aging as they reciprocate.
R & R: Roles & Responsibilities
Dependents: The true foundation of our family. Given love, positive stimuli, and care, children will contribute unguarded joy, innocent perspectives, and very needed laughter. They are our glue, our gifts, our saviors, and our “kick-in-the-pants” to stop taking ourselves so seriously all the time!
Students: We graduate and excel as we become more involved and knowledgeable in our surroundings. This determines our intellectual basis towards becoming a citizen of the world. It is a time of development of our philosophy and ideology that, in part, influence our contributions. Naturally, this stage runs a wide spectrum of maturity. But how we treat others and are treated by others, what roles we take on within our family, and how we perceive ourselves are important factors in how we advance to the next stage. We play a key role at this point in mentoring “dependents”, becoming more self reliant, and participate with interest in our family’s dynamics – especially when it comes to the “caregivers” as that’s the next step. The interaction and involvement with our “seniors” can greatly influence choices yet unknown to us.
Caregivers: Even compared to the roller coaster of our “students” years, this is the stage that can prove the most challenging in emotion and time management and the most joyful as the “inner you’s” are discovered. With these discoveries, we accumulate the many hats that honor the various active roles we now have. Often we wear them all at the same time. – Self – Parent – Spouse/Partner – Child – Sibling – Peer – Citizen – Each hat can be weaved with a common thread of protection – Honesty – Acceptance – Tenacity. We’re protecting ourselves from priorities becoming blurred by time restraints and multiple tasks. Being honest with ourselves is just as important as being honest with others. Finding the balance between what is being asked of us and what we can successfully accomplish makes the occasional “no” worth the scratch to our ego. “Help” is not a bad four letter word. Trying to do it all on our own prohibits others to participate in our life and prevents us from embracing this stage in life with those around us. Accept the diligence that’s needed to maintain the balance of a positive and progressive track on both a personal and career path. This is the stage that we often need to be focused on others rather than ourselves. Lucky for us!! Of course it’s necessary to care for one’s self. But there’s a significant difference between maintaining a healthy you and getting caught in the unhealthy “poor you” syndrome. Remember first, we’re surrounded by our dependents, students and seniors to keep our perspectives straight and to help us navigate the “to-do list” – that’s a family aging together. Outside resources are also becoming increasingly available. The nuances we may face are when our role as a parent, child, sibling, or friend requires acceptance of circumstances that weren’t part of the plan. An accident, illness, job loss, death, or natural disasters are only some of the tests of character that may position us in roles that inherit responsibilities previously unforeseen. Tenacity at these points becomes less of a hat but more of a cloak that enables our consistency and strength through thick and thin. We lead by example. Our choice in how we react or handle the various situations in life is central to immediate outcomes but it is also preparing us for what is to come. H.A.T. and compassion accompanied by laughter helps us to remember that we were once the dependents and students and will someday be our seniors. The possibility of experience is abundant. The joint forces of energy are potent.
Seniors: The golden age. The autumn and winter of our human experience. Our R&R is now bent towards Retirement and new Routines. We redirect our energies to Reflection and Rest and try to avoid Regrets and Rheumatism. Seniorhood holds proof to the saying that life is a series of new beginnings. We hold tight our dependents, students and caregivers as we pass on memories and ownership. The liberation in the discharge is weighted by the charge to understand our dependencies and accept the slower pace. I believe it is fair to say that high value lies within us as seniors although our internal mirror may reflect a faded image of our worth. There’s freedom to passing the baton so we can Relax and Recuperate from our previously task-filled held roles. It’s not all Relinquish and Release. Sharing knowledge and memories along with concentrating on what we can do vs. what we no longer need to do will define our Roles & Responsibilities within the family and community. Regular laughter is recommended.
This marvel of family interaction is present in song and prose – it inspires studies and prompts discussion – it awakens our awareness of each other and ourselves.
Our stories should be shared.
50+ Blogger
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